Things I'd tell my 13 year old self

I've seen this blogpost by a few other bloggers, and I thought it would be something quite 
fun to write. So I decided to have a think of things I'd tell a 13 year old me.

1. Dont panic, your spots will clear up soon (though you'll never have the best skin ever).
2. Stop obsessing over having a boyfriend. No boys will properly like you like that until you get to the age of at least 16. Then your best friend will decide he loves you, and you'll love him too and happily ever after. 
3. GCSEs aren't as hard as you think they'll be.
4. Always audition for a lead, you never know what might get thrown at you!
5. Your boobs will get bigger and will suddenly stop growing as the rest of you continues.
6. You're going to be in a pantomime (2 actually) and you will lose a nice amount of weight. Keep it up, you look fab then!
7. Full fringe = no go.
8. Same goes for the bob hair cut. And the perm. Basically don't let mum go anywhere near your hair.
9. Please stop wearing luminous purple eyeshadow that matches your cardigans... it does you no favours.
10. Even when you move house, the people that are most important to you will stay in your life even when you're 19... don't worry!
11. When you turn 18, please don't feel the need to take a picture of yourself every time you consume alcohol.
12. You will have an obsession with Monster Munch in year 12 and 13.. never let it stop.
13. Do the IB; dad knows what he's talking about and it will be the best (and yet worst) decision you will ever make.
14. The IB will eventually end and you'll be so sad it did (won't feel like it at the time!).
15. Please change your mind from English to Psychology sooner. It'll save you a lot of time.
16. You are going to end up at one of the best Universities in the country, and love it more than you've loved anything. You'll meet some awesome people, and have the most amazing flatmates ever, and your course will be a bit pants in the beginning, but it gets better!
17. You will always love Disney. Never be ashamed.

UPDATE: 18. Please refrain from the incessant hashtagging on instagram when you're about 16... no-one enjoys that...

The Sims Addict: is it just me?

I received a snapchat off my cousin the other day, which was of her Sim dying due to a dishwasher. It sounded like a funny story, and probably was... and it got me thinking; I really want to play the Sims. Not Sims 4 obviously... because thats nowhere near as good as Sims 3. And mainly as a tool of procrastinating from my exams and coursework deadlines that are slowly making themselves more prominent in my life.

It occurred to me that I always play The Sims the same way...

• Build a kick-ass house with 5 floors and several pools (after motherlode of course).
• Make a couple, usually involving myself and a random celebrity that I fancy at that particular time in life.
• Make them get married (look.. if I'm never going to actually get married to Jamie Dornan.. at least a version of me will!).
• Make them get jobs; usually in the music career or the medicine one. Not sure why...
• Cheat to make them get serious skills in whatever they need for their careers.
• Slowly realise that the married couple no longer talks and are both self-centred and only focussed on their careers.
• Make either person experience a serious near death experience, such as drowning in a pool, or being in a house fire.
• Barter with Death (and be mostly successful).
• Make them have two children.
• Let the children grow up and become either alcoholic hobos, or very successful business people (depending on how motivated I am at that point in time).
• Build another kick-ass house and play with another family (myself and Zac Efron this time perhaps).

And so the cycle continues. 

I just wanted to know if I was the only one that did this? Am I the only sadistic person who removes the pool ladders when the Sims are in the pool? The only one that removes all the doors to a room that the Sim is in, until they wet themselves in desperation? The only one that starts house fires, and make the Sim try and put it out themselves? The only one that cheats to get the Sims the best house and best career?

The Sims is a virtual reality. See that word? REALITY. These things don't happen in real life, therefore we should all start playing the game like normal people and stop being weird.

But then wheres the fun in that?

The 16 step process of true procrastination

1. Turn off your phone/ turn off data on your phone.
2. Turn on a light.
3. Open a book, and your laptop.
4. Block Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and Tumblr and Instagram and Youtube and Netflix.
5. Open your document/ revision notes.
6. Look at it until your eyes water.
7. Begin crying.
8. Accept inevitable failure.
9. Actually get about 10 words written, and then head to the kitchen for a snack because you've worked so damn hard and deserve a break.
10. Spend an hour and a half talking to your flatmate in the kitchen, before telling them you need to go and get this essay done because you're on a roll.
11. Write another ten words, and delete the other ten you'd already written.
12. Tidy your room, because who can work in an environment like this?
13. Hoover.
14. Sit back down, and tell yourself you have loads of time and don't need to panic (its due tomorrow).
15. Unblock Netflix and begin watching an entire series (perhaps Breaking Bad...) and cry yourself to sleep at night worrying about all the work you have to do.
16. Stay up until 5am, fuelled by Red Bull and the occasional Pro Plus, and finish that essay.

Now get off this blog, and actually do some work!

It could only happen to my sister: A&E

In one of my old houses (I’ve lived in quite a few), the design downstairs formed a perfect circle. The hallway led through to the living room, the living room through to the kitchen, the kitchen to the dining room and the dining room back to the hallway. There were no doors, just archways throughout the downstairs. As kids, when we first moved in, my little sister and me used to enjoy chasing each other around and around and around the downstairs; much to my mum’s annoyance. To clarify, I have two little sisters. The youngest sister will be labelled as “blonde” and the middle sister as “brunette” throughout my blogs. This story is about an accident-prone brunette.

My parents were trying to sort out the downstairs and make it their own. Somewhere along the process, a screw was sticking out of the wall (fault of the previous owners stair-gate) at perfect forehead height for my little sister.

Don’t get me wrong; this is actually a very funny story. So my sister and me were running around and around and around, when one day, she tripped and hit her forehead on the screw sticking out of the wall. It was a messy situation, and involved a long stay in the A&E to find out that she was actually fine and didn’t even need stiches (the nail wasn’t in her head, she ran into it and it stayed in the wall). It was pretty much just a scratch… although she does have a pretty impressive scar with an awesome backstory. To this day, we call her the most accident-prone teenager to walk the Earth; as you will learn from later blog posts (she was terrible, my parents couldn’t let her out of their sight!). Many more stories about the accident-prone brunette to come!