The 16 step process of true procrastination

1. Turn off your phone/ turn off data on your phone.
2. Turn on a light.
3. Open a book, and your laptop.
4. Block Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and Tumblr and Instagram and Youtube and Netflix.
5. Open your document/ revision notes.
6. Look at it until your eyes water.
7. Begin crying.
8. Accept inevitable failure.
9. Actually get about 10 words written, and then head to the kitchen for a snack because you've worked so damn hard and deserve a break.
10. Spend an hour and a half talking to your flatmate in the kitchen, before telling them you need to go and get this essay done because you're on a roll.
11. Write another ten words, and delete the other ten you'd already written.
12. Tidy your room, because who can work in an environment like this?
13. Hoover.
14. Sit back down, and tell yourself you have loads of time and don't need to panic (its due tomorrow).
15. Unblock Netflix and begin watching an entire series (perhaps Breaking Bad...) and cry yourself to sleep at night worrying about all the work you have to do.
16. Stay up until 5am, fuelled by Red Bull and the occasional Pro Plus, and finish that essay.

Now get off this blog, and actually do some work!

It could only happen to my sister: A&E

In one of my old houses (I’ve lived in quite a few), the design downstairs formed a perfect circle. The hallway led through to the living room, the living room through to the kitchen, the kitchen to the dining room and the dining room back to the hallway. There were no doors, just archways throughout the downstairs. As kids, when we first moved in, my little sister and me used to enjoy chasing each other around and around and around the downstairs; much to my mum’s annoyance. To clarify, I have two little sisters. The youngest sister will be labelled as “blonde” and the middle sister as “brunette” throughout my blogs. This story is about an accident-prone brunette.

My parents were trying to sort out the downstairs and make it their own. Somewhere along the process, a screw was sticking out of the wall (fault of the previous owners stair-gate) at perfect forehead height for my little sister.

Don’t get me wrong; this is actually a very funny story. So my sister and me were running around and around and around, when one day, she tripped and hit her forehead on the screw sticking out of the wall. It was a messy situation, and involved a long stay in the A&E to find out that she was actually fine and didn’t even need stiches (the nail wasn’t in her head, she ran into it and it stayed in the wall). It was pretty much just a scratch… although she does have a pretty impressive scar with an awesome backstory. To this day, we call her the most accident-prone teenager to walk the Earth; as you will learn from later blog posts (she was terrible, my parents couldn’t let her out of their sight!). Many more stories about the accident-prone brunette to come!

HAUL: Shopping with my Bestie.

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So today I went shopping with a girl that I have known and loved for nearly 8 whole years. We went through a phase in our lives where we lost contact, but having seen her for the past couple of days, I know that won't happen anymore. BESTIES FOR LYFEEE. Anyway. I thought I'd write a lovely little blog post about all the things I bought, and where I got them.

We started in Paperchase, and this led to absolutely no purchases (much to both of our surprise... we love paper chase!), and then we headed to Next and Poundland. In Poundland, I bought two packets of my favourite sweets in the whole world: RAINBOW NERDS. I also bought my first beauty item of the day: The tangle teaser. Okay, so I admit, the genuine tangle teasers cannot be purchased in Poundland, as they are like £14 per brush. Personally, I think that is a lot of money to spend on something that I will inevitably lose. Therefore, I purchased a cheap version of the popular hairbrush.

Next, we headed to Millie's Cookies for a well deserved break from 10 minutes of shopping. This resulted in me having a White Chocolate and Raspberry cookie, alongside a Jaffa cookie, and my bestie eating a Salted Caramel and Pecan cookie, alongside a Double Chocolate cookie (the details are important when referring to cookies, okay?).

After our break, we headed to SuperDrug for a very long shop, spending about half an hour deciding what to buy. I ended up leaving with a MUA Eyeshadow Triplet in the shade Pink Sorbet, a Collection "Work the Colour Lip Butter" in the shade 1: Popping Pink (after heavy deliberation), and a MUA "Undress Your Skin: shimmer highlighter" in the shade iridescent gold. I also purchased the Collection "Extreme Colour Lengthening Mascara" in black, as it is my go-to mascara, and I have re-purchased it a million times.

After feeling very satisfied with our purchases, we headed off for a quick stop in Boots so I could buy the Boots Ingredients: "Coconut and Almond: Intensive Hair Mask" that I absolutely swear by. I was recommended it by my cousin, and since then, I have never looked back. It genuinely leaves my hair feeling amazing, and at only £1.99, its practically a steal!

We moved on to Lush for a few last minute bits, and spent a while looking around H&M for outfits. I found an absolutely beautiful dress which I am actually considering going back and buying. However, I refrained from buying it, as I knew I was headed to Primark after this, and didn't want to spend £15 on something, that I could potentially find for cheaper in Primarni.

In Primark, I bought 2 pairs of highly needed jeans (a simple staple, nothing particularly exciting, so I didn't bother taking pictures of these), a pair of shoes, some socks (to go with the shoes), several hair accessories, some tights and a present for a friend. I very nearly bought a small gold ring with little diamonds on it for a pound, but my wonderful bestie decided to talk me out of it, as she thought I was just grabbing. I regretted walking away from it.

My bestie is leaving tomorrow, and I am absolutely gutted about that. I've really missed her smelliness and can't wait until we plan some awesome adventures for the summer. She is currently asleep next to me as I write this... should I wake her snoring ass up so she can approve this blog post?

I'd like to survive to write another couple of blog posts one day. Perhaps I'll leave her to sleep.

It could only happen to me: Argos

When I was about 6, my parents took me to Argos with my older brother and younger sister, and we purchased a cupboard for £59.99 at Collection Point B. However, the interesting thing about the whole experience had absolutely nothing to do with the cupboard, unsurprisingly. 

As a child I was highly dramatic (not much has changed), and the world was my stage. At this particular moment in time, Argos was my chosen stage. I decided that my own rendition of Geri Halliwell's "It's Raining Men" was absolutely the thing that would entertain the customers of Argos. I began to do the dance moves that I had learned through a music channel, and sung at the top of my lungs. A few of the older members of my audience gave me a clap and a cheer, however my older brother (who must have been about 12 at the time) was absolutely mortified about watching me dance my socks off, while he was unsuccessfully trying to eye up some of the females at Collection Point A. I completely ruined his cool, and my own, as the girls started laughing and pointing.

It didn't phase me. Even to this day I find the beauty of an Argos audience (lots of people sitting on chairs waiting anxiously for their numbers to be called; actually, they're just looking for their own items to arrive down that conveyor belt and then they jump up) perfect as an audience to sport my newest dance moves.

I turned 19 in December...